Newcastle have launched perhaps the most embarrassing �125m triple-swoop in history, but low-balling Brighton and Forest is Manchester Uniteds fault.

Swoop, swoop, thats the sound of da police
Another day in the summer 2025 transfer window, another update painstakingly explaining how Newcastle are apparently entirely unique in the world of football and will not overpay for players .

How is one supposed to sportswash when Manchester United have selfishly set an artificial benchmark in the market by signing players for prices both they and the selling clubs believe they are worth?

No mention of Liverpool spending almost �200m on new signings before July , mind.

And if only there was a way around this evident Premier League tax, like considering players outside the Premier League.

Then again, why bother when Newcastle are about to sign Joao Pedro, Anthony Elanga and James Trafford for �125m?

That is the exclusive from Luke Edwards of the Daily Telegraph, with it as yet unclear who should be imprisoned for hyphenating triple-swoop in the headline.

Edwards has rarely been quite so in his element. We start incredibly strong with the claim that Newcastle have made bids for Brighton forward Joao Pedro, Burnley goalkeeper James Trafford and Nottingham Forest winger Anthony Elanga.

There is growing momentum behind Newcastles recruitment moves and all three players are interested&and would love to play for manager Eddie Howe.

Well of course. Few have been able to resist the party city yet .

But Edwards is downplaying things by calling this a hugely ambitious move which would represent a remarkable piece of business if they can pull it off.

If Newcastle sign those three players for �125m then knighthoods need to be handed out.

By the fifth paragraph reality has already set in: there is a gap between the bids made and the current valuations of players. And then comes the stunning revelation that the Magpies have only actually verbally discussed bids of around �50m for Pedro.

Are they hoping to talk loudly enough so that Brighton overhear them and suddenly lower their demands by about �20m ? Is this how transfer negotiations work? If so, we need an Athletic long read about why Paul Mitchell was rubbish at it because it sounds quite straightforward.

Newcastle are also willing to pay around the same for Elanga, which is broadly fine but there is a potential hitch in that Nottingham Forest need to be willing to accept. And the immediate rejection of a �45m bid without a counter suggests they are not .

But hey, Trafford is still there. Yet agreeing a fee is proving problematic, which might have something to do with Burnleys valuation of at least �30m and up to �40m not being met by a bid of �25m.

Indeed, an exclusive from Martin Hardy of The Times published a few hours after this Edwards puff piece says Burnley have turned down a �25m bid at the same time Brighton have rejected �50m for Pedro. So this �125m raid is disintegrating in record time.

If Newcastle reach an agreement with Brighton for Pedro before they agree a fee with Forest for Elanga, Edwards writes, it may well mean they drop their interest in the latter and vice versa.

So now theyre not even signing all of them?! This might be the worst triple-swoop in history.

If Newcastle can pull off this triple signing they will have a squad to be feared next season.

Sod the squad if Newcastle can pull off this triple signing they will have a recruitment team capable of performing actual miracles.

Their willingness to launch three simultaneous bids for their main targets is then described as a bold strategy.

It is certainly bold to informally chat about maybe low-balling famously resolute Brighton with a �50m Pedro offer, and it is unclear how throwing another �5m at Forest for Elanga and asking everyone to cross their fingers represents a strategy.

As ambitious as Newcastles three-pronged attack on the market is, it also makes sense. Newcastle need to act decisively with the start of pre-season training on the horizon.

Christ. If this is Newcastle acting decisively then it doesnt bear thinking about what a dawdling summer for them would look like. Its still June and were one step away from Sean Longstaff being offered in part-exchange.

Towards the end of this in-depth analysis of such an ambitious and remarkable �125m triple-swoop, Edwards finally concedes that it might be quite difficult simultaneously talking three rival Premier League clubs into lowering valuations of players they do not need to sell.

The Magpies might even need to move on to other targets, who go unnamed but are almost certainly playing in the Premier League currently.

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But by the final paragraph that early optimism of the �125m triple-swoop has returned.

That would leave them with just a centre-back to find in this window. Find one within budget and their interest in Marc Guehi remains and this will be a tremendous summer for Newcastles recruitment team.

Simple as that really. But its funny that Edwards mentions the budget, considering this was what he wrote on June 6:

With a new contract for star striker Alexander Isak also in the pipeline talks are expected to start in July Newcastle cannot spend upwards of �60 million on players when wages are also a consideration.

Oh. The good news is that �60m might at least interest Brighton for Pedro, providing they actually talk to them about it. The bad news is that there is nothing left of a budget to afford a �125m triple-swoop which was dead on arrival.

Rash decision
Maybe some other outlets can have better luck actively guessing what is going on at St James Park?

NEWCASTLE want to rescue Marcus Rashford from his Manchester United limbo. The Magpies are ready to offer the England striker Champions League football following his Aston Villa loan Ian Tuckey, The Sun exclusive, June 18.

Newcastle have been linked with a move for Manchester United outcast Marcus Rashford but he is not on the clubs list of targets Gary Stonehouse, The Sun exclusive, June 26.

Perhaps not. At least talk to each other, fellas.

Tuch and go
Mediawatch thoroughly enjoys how The Sun is already meticulously preparing their next hatchet for Thomas Tuchel in case they need it, writing that he risks being put to shame by Germany head coach Julian Nagelsmann.

The latter is cutting short his holiday in Majorca to attend the Euro U21 final in Bratislava on Saturday. Its a 1,600-mile trip, or little over two hours by plane, and a prospect Nagelsmann almost certainly prepared for when he planned his break.

But Tuchel is in the United States so could still make a mad dash to watch the game, but it is also about 5,000 miles and probably most of if not an entire days worth of travelling.

The two situations are not even remotely similar, particularly as Tuchel is combining watching England players at the Club World Cup with a recce ahead of next summers World Cup.

But the implication is obvious, explicitly underlined by the mention of Tuchel hoping to end 60 years of hurt for our nation, while Nagelsmann will be in attendance to watch his nations young guns.

The best line in the story, however, is this:

If he does make it, then we can confirm that he could be sat next to Nagelsmann in the VIP seats the man he replaced at Bayern Munich in 2023.

Confirmed: man could sit next to another man if both are in same place at same time. Thats one hell of a scoop.

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